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读书笔记:孩子 挑战

  • 2026-04-30 21:42:23
读书笔记:孩子 挑战
读完《孩子：挑战》这本书后，身为两个孩子的妈妈感触很大，原本幻想的是2个娃其乐融融，谦卑有礼，兄友弟恭。现实狠狠打了我个大耳刮子，实际却是兄弟互殴，鸡飞狗跳，怒气冲冲，嚎啕大哭。导致每天把我CPU直接干瘫痪，陷入混乱和自我怀疑。我真的会教小孩吗？我能做好妈妈的角色吗？我有时候会凶孩子，打孩子，骂孩子，讨厌孩子；然后我又哄孩子，夸孩子，陪伴孩子，引导孩子，教育孩子，爱孩子。一边摆烂一边学习，一边讨厌一边喜欢，一边折磨一边享受，我觉得自己好癫，神经好分裂啊。看了书中的案例，才发觉在育儿战场上奋力拼杀、又常常被自己内心风暴席卷的妈妈。如此真实，如此撕裂，却又如此普遍——我不是一个人，大家都是一个在爱的重压下努力寻找平衡的普通人。
书里也提供一些视角转换，接下来我会尝试调整试一试：
            

①从“灭火员”到“观察员”

当2个娃子的冲突爆发，先给我自己10秒深呼吸。告诉自己：“这不是紧急事件，这是他们在学习相处。”观察而不立即干预，让孩子会自己找到解决方案。当然前提是，我必须克制自己，不管不顾小宝钻耳的嚎啕哭声，并且无视大宝的傲慢挑衅。

②从“法官”到“导游”

不必每次裁定谁对谁错。说实话我都发现了，小宝有时候很手贱要去故意搞坏哥哥的东西，大宝忍不住脾气肯定要教训小老弟。孩子们需要为他们自己的选择和做错的事情负责，我没能力一直给他擦屁股；坚持原则，维持秩序。只是一定要坚持彻底，坚持不彻底等于彻底没坚持。

③“特别时光”的魔力

每天给每个孩子15-30分钟“专属时间”（错开进行），这期间完全由他主导玩耍内容。这种一对一的关注能极大地填补他们争夺关注的“情感账户”，减少冲突。
书中最后提到家庭会议方式也很好，这个我要考虑下怎么组织起来，保证大家都参与进来并且有趣有意义。

④接纳自己的有限性

真的很累的时候诚实地对孩子说：“妈妈现在很累，需要安静一下。”然后给自己一个短暂的休息。之前我每次打骂了孩子我都觉得有点后悔和愧疚，但是现在觉得其实也没必要内疚，打骂孩子的那一刻那肯定他们就是做的不对应该被教训，如果觉得自己会内疚那就要控制住自己要打下去的手。

⑤“育儿盟友”不可缺少

孩子从来不是妈妈一个人的事，拉上爸爸来做盟友。我家爸爸脾气也不小也会凶吼打骂，但他也会给娃做早餐，玩游戏，讨论科技和历史，陪娃踢球和骑车。累的时候不想管的时候，彻底交给爸爸处理一下。
《孩子：挑战》不是说，真正的成长，往往发生在你觉得最失控的时刻。我必须承认我们自己在幼儿方面就是不完美的，可能现在正在学习与孩子共同成长，他们学习做孩子，我们学习做父母。当然我们得加油比孩子进步更快才行。
本文来自网友投稿或网络内容，如有侵犯您的权益请联系我们删除，联系邮箱：wyl860211@qq.com 。

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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.001117s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=no_67808;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.002282s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000800s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000548s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.001216s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000482s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.001186s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 485030 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001040s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1777570707 WHERE `id` = 485030 [ RunTime:0.007043s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000583s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 485030 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000911s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 485030 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000876s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 485030 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.002878s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 485030 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.001556s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 485030 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.016361s ]
0.183009s