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心理咨询师学习笔记29:如何应对咨询结束时的分离

  • 2026-02-05 00:21:50
心理咨询师学习笔记29:如何应对咨询结束时的分离
分离——咨询的所有 都在为此刻准备
1、自我的形成过程
  • 共生——婴儿出生后与妈妈依然是共生状态，此阶段未被很好照顾和满足，容易出现人格障碍。
  • 分离——我允许你按照自己的意志去吃喝拉、去爬去蹦。不能分离：一旦分离就要被惩罚嫌弃抛弃，就会让妈妈伤心（不被允许成为自己）
  • 咨询中的分离——以一种健康有力、被允许的 、自由没有愧疚感的方式去重新呈现和体验分离。
  • 自我的使用——如果来访者在偏执-分裂位，就无法坦然面对分离，也无法完成对自我的建设、使用和发展
2、来访者的分离焦虑
分离——一个阶段的咨询发生和完成后，自然出现的咨访关系的结束。
脱落——来访者觉得咨询没用，不再跟咨询师做咨询了。
来访者的分离焦虑——“我不想跟你结束咨询”：
  • 无力的恐惧：过往经验中总是出现自己不能搞定的问题。应对：回顾来访者咨询过程中的每一步变化。
  • 愧疚的恐惧：“我要跟你咨询，才能正常生活”“我离开了，咨询师怎么办”（满足咨询师的自恋）。应对：清晰共情，让来访者知道他想法背后的东西。
  • 超越的恐惧：我成为更好的自己，对于咨询师来说就是我超越了他（移情）。应对：可能来访过程中超越父母时，父母的回应让来访感到挫败和对自我的无力感。成功焦虑。
  • 丧失的恐惧：一分开就有被抛弃、绝望、孤独、空洞、无依靠的感觉。方向形成：因为害怕分离而提出分离。应对：跟来访讨论分离、处理分离；接受和尊重来访者的选择。
3、咨询师的分离焦虑
  • 个人的价值需求：成就感与挫败感
  • 被抛弃的创伤激活
  • 经济的需求：需要内在和外在相对安全的状态，才适合做咨询师。
每一次的分离和相遇，在象征层面上也是跟生死有关的。
4、分离对于来访者的意义
  • 可以不内疚而结束的关系体验
  • 外在关系的内化：咨询师的视角也在我的心里了
  • 人生必须要有的——面对孤独的勇气
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学习笔记:主动寻求社会支持——学习《教师的职业生涯规划与心理健康》教育之九

心理咨询师学习笔记29:如何应对咨询结束时的分离

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  139. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/no.67808.cn/runtime/temp/6df755f970a38e704c5414acbc6e8bcd.php ( 12.06 KB )
  140. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/no.67808.cn/vendor/topthink/think-trace/src/Html.php ( 4.42 KB )
  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000519s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=no_67808;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000679s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.002998s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.004633s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000645s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.004692s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000713s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 464428 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.004332s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1770357664 WHERE `id` = 464428 [ RunTime:0.022796s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.003932s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 464428 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.004743s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 464428 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.010204s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 464428 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.027823s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 464428 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.022827s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 464428 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.057117s ]
0.241069s