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《卓越的演讲领导力》学习笔记82

  • 2026-02-08 09:19:53
《卓越的演讲领导力》学习笔记82

《卓越的演讲领导力》学习笔记82

问责与宽恕

当我们为自己的行为承担责任时，我们就为宽恕和人性留出了空间

提醒：下面的内容可能含有让一些人感到不舒服的话题。

“从那天晚上开始，我就知道2个小时有7200秒。”在一次极具影响力的TED演讲中，索迪丝·埃尔瓦（Thordis Elva）讲述了她被强暴的经历。不仅仅是她一个人描述这一事件，因为台上和她在一起的还有她的前男友——那个强暴她的男人——汤姆·斯特兰杰（Tom Stranger）。当两人描述这一事件时，你可以感受到观众的紧张情绪，以及他们未说出口的一个问题：“她怎么能忍受和强暴她的人一起在那里谈论这件事？”

斯特兰杰承认，强暴事件之后他选择了否认和逃避，并没有意识到他对埃尔瓦造成了多大的伤害。他花了9年的时间才承认发生了什么，以及他在其中扮演的角色。当埃尔瓦写信给他，写下她的经历并告诉他，她仍在寻找原谅他的方法时，两人开始了持续8年的通信，埃尔瓦卸下了心中的重担，从痛苦中解脱，斯特兰杰也真正地承认了自己的所作所为。他们谈到了强暴事件和那之后的生活，最终他们见面了，然后花了1个星期的时间交谈和彼此倾听，试图了解对方的经历。斯特兰杰向埃尔瓦承认了自己的侵犯行为，这改变了他的自我认知，以及对埃尔瓦的认知。埃尔瓦也战胜了内心的恐惧，从由此而生的怨恨和愤怒中解脱出来。最后他们决定相互理解，一起写了一本书，从他们的经历出发探讨性暴力的社会背景以及更深层次的原因。如果斯特兰杰不能坦白自己的所作所为，这一切都不可能发生。
我们可能害怕承认自己的错误，但行为不当、伤害他人、伤害自己都是人性多面化的表现，即使我们希望它们不是。作为领导者，我们可以从这个不可思议的演讲中学到的是，如果我们不承认曾经亏待过别人，我们就无法帮助任何人——既不能帮助我们自己，也不能帮助别人。通过承认我们的失败，我们可以看到这不是我们的全部——斯特兰杰称之为“所有权悖论”。我们通过承认某些方面是不完美的，开始看到我们并不完全是坏人，我们只是人类罢了。
#卓越的演讲领导力 #领导力培养方法 #TED演讲技巧 #如何成为优秀领导者 #团队管理与责任

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      139. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/no.67808.cn/runtime/temp/6df755f970a38e704c5414acbc6e8bcd.php ( 12.06 KB )
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      1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.001234s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=no_67808;charset=utf8mb4
      2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.001662s ]
      3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000794s ]
      4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000648s ]
      5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.001253s ]
      6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000592s ]
      7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.001506s ]
      8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 466812 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001247s ]
      9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1770566098 WHERE `id` = 466812 [ RunTime:0.021999s ]
      10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000871s ]
      11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 466812 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001567s ]
      12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 466812 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.009761s ]
      13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 466812 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.001738s ]
      14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 466812 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.002191s ]
      15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 466812 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.003638s ]
      0.218886s